


Sorry I Didn't Tell You, I Didn't Know How You'd React.

by SprayPaint



Category: Fire Emblem: Kakusei | Fire Emblem: Awakening
Genre: F/M, Trans Character
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-12-07
Updated: 2014-12-07
Packaged: 2018-02-28 10:58:29
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,194
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2729900
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SprayPaint/pseuds/SprayPaint
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>?????????? i think about trans robin a lot and i'm sorry i'm not too good at this fic writing business??</p>
    </blockquote>





	Sorry I Didn't Tell You, I Didn't Know How You'd React.

**Author's Note:**

> ?????????? i think about trans robin a lot and i'm sorry i'm not too good at this fic writing business??

You generally caught yourself starring at him during your shared class periods, which was practically all of them save third period algebra II. The only time you when you were together when you could control your gaze was at lunch and that was probably only thanks to the large lunch group you both sat with. During those times you could safely distract yourself with whatever bullshit Gaius was up to or attempting to converse with Lon’qu or listening to Lissa go on about gossip about fellow male classmates. You could pretend you didn’t form a stupid, girly crush on Chrom and pretend his line of female admirers didn’t bother you.

Contrary to the typical crush cliche, you’re anxiety didn’t source from Chrom rejecting your feeling. You and Chrom were closer than most and you were never far apart most days. Chrom had seen all of you….on the surface. Nobody in the entire school knew you were trans and for the most part, you intended to keep it that way. Shame had nothing to do with it either. Past experiences left you a little less brave and more willing to play it safe. Nobody knew and nobody needed to know, and it was fine that way.

It was probably the only secret you’ve kept from Chrom. 

The worst part was you had no idea how Chrom would even react to finding out. You’re certain he wouldn’t be rude or heartless about it; the only person you’ve seen him openly threaten was that weird Gangrel kid from a rival school and that a completely justified rage. Different scenarios of Chroms reaction would go through your head. Chrom refusing to accept the truth, or maybe Chrom saying that couldn’t be friends anymore because she lied to him. 

“So anyways, about this problem…Robin are you listening to me?” You snapped back to the real world by Chrom gently patting your shoulder “Robin…is something wrong?” he peered over at your face. You forgot, you had set aside time in study period to help Chrom go over some harder problems in calculus. You tried to push the negative thoughts out of your head and focus on Chroms question. Your facade fell through, because your answer clearly made no sense and Chrom unfortunately knew you well enough to where putting up a facade was pointless. He knew all your body gestures and the tones of your face. It was almost unusual. 

“What’s wrong? You’re only this sloppy when you’ve got something on your mind. Do you get in a fight with you father last night? Your sister?” his brow was furrowed and he looked genuinely concerned. He also looked very cute, but that only helped to make you a bit more flustered. 

“No, everything is fine with father and Aversa, even if she is a bit…..” you trailed off. You could never find the right words to describe her perfectly.

“Are you having problems with one of our friends? You didn’t get Lon’qu all upset at you again did you? Boys don’t like it when you throw figs at them” His tone lightened to a joking one, probably an attempt to calm you. It wasn’t helping; every little thing he was did was making you diver deeper into pool called flustered. 

“I didn’t get into a fight with anyone, I just don’t feel good today. Maybe I’m not sleeping well.” that was only half a lie; you haven’t being sleeping too grand for the past week. 

“Really? Well, you’re not the only one, I’ve been getting maybe 2 hours or so for the past few days…” 

“Well, that certainly explains your awful math work. I’ve never seen you screw up so many problems on one page. How did you get in a higher math class than me?”

“Because unlike you, I come from a home where I’m expected to be on the top of my class.” You gently punch him in the shoulder and you share a laugh. It was a typical interaction, but you cherished it and you cherished your time spent together. 

You shook your head. Those thoughts weren’t going to get you anywhere right now, so you might as well ignore them until you return home and you can bash your head into you bed frame. “Well then mister big shot smart guy, let’s get back to the calculus. You’ve got a quiz tomorrow and I won’t have you blaming me for failure.”

The day passed by like it typically did, you ignored your feelings and tried to act calm and cool, though Chroms concerned glances he’s throw you while you were being hounded by Tharjas colorful ideas and attention made your face heat up but you could just pass it off as being embarrassed by her. When the end bell rang your practically charged out of the school without waving bye to anyone and made a dash back for home, which luckily wasn’t too far and it wasn’t too cold that day either. At least the gods had some sympathy. 

 

You thought the week might’ve been tolerable on Monday, but come Tuesday it became a nightmare. First period biology was never your favorite class, and the teacher was never your favorite either and she wasn't becoming any better in your eyes when you and Chrom were assigned partners for an outside of school biology project. You pretended you weren’t screaming inside and matched Chroms open enthusiasm. When Chrom asked if you could start working on it today at your house, since his house was being worked on at the moment, you dug your heel into you foot and feigned happiness. Your room was a mess, and there was bound to be some evidence of the secret you’ve being hiding from him. It was also bound to be an extremely intimate setting since your father was out of town on some dumb business thing (if only you gave a rats ass about what your shifty father did for a living) and Aversa was off doing whatever the heck she does during the day. 

“Nobody’s home? Well, that’s perfect!” when you told him the home situation, his joy flourished more. 

“To be honest, your father makes me a bit uncomfortable and last time I was over your sister started….flirting with me and it was extremely weird…she’s like 8 years older than you right?” 

“yeah yeah, I remember though I rather perish the thought from my head. That’s not one of my fonder memories with Aversa” 

You signed internally and accepted there was no crawling out of this one, but rather prayed that once again the gods would take sympathy on you and let this not be a disaster. 

 

The day passed by quick, too quick it felt like and by the time you were leaving school, Chrom was right beside you. “We’ll have to walk, you can bear the chilly breeze right, mister big shot?”   
Chrom rolled his eyes and nudged you with his elbow “I’m not some delicate princess like Lissa.” 

You both kept at your typical banter and it carried through the entirety of your miserable walk home. For a moment, you felt those anxieties vanish. 

Only to return upon unlocking your back door and entering the large, empty house. 

 

Now, it wasn’t the first time you invited Chrom over; in fact he’s been over countless times. However, ever time you had hung out, your father was home and banned Chrom from entering your room with you. He didn’t want some “princey little boy touching his precious daughter” or something along those lines. That day would mark the first day Chrom had seen your room. 

“I’m expecting a clean room from you Robin” Chrom joked “Some one as organized and well thought as you surely has her room in order.” You rolled your eyes “Sorry to disappoint but my room isn’t the cleanest at the moment. I would’ve cleaned it if I’d knew you were coming over.”

As you speak, you make your way to the top of the stair case and turn the knob to your room. You said your room was messy, but to anyone else it would look fairly clean. Some books scattered about and some dirty clothes hanging outside the hamper but beyond that, all clean and organized. 

“Robin you’re such a liar. This is cleaner than my room and Lissas room will never ever be this clean.”

You were so busy thanking yourself for cleaning up the place, you forgot to keep an eye on Chrom.

“How old is this photo? You looked really boyish way back when” Chrom was observing the photos you have decorated the cork board in front you desk and you considered jumping out the window or maybe breaking you legs right then and there to distract him from the collection of photos. Somehow you managed to answer “y-yeah I had a short tomboy phase I guess…?” “Short? More like most of your childhood? I never imagined what you’d look like with short hair!” The situation wasn’t improving at all but thank the gods that Chrom was so naive. Chrom looked back over at you “oh, don’t get me wrong, I think short hair looks nice but I think you look better with longer hair. It suits you better.”

“Well, I’m glad someone else likes it this way. I remember Aversa talking about how we looked like twins when I decided to grow mine out. There’s a couple times she styled my hair like hers for special occasions….” you were trailing off before you remember now wasn’t the time for fond regards of memories; now was the time to panic. Panic but stay completely calm and put the situation under your control.

“Um, anyways Chrom we really should get to work on this project-“ “Your family went to the beach once?” his voice contained more confusion and suspicion this time. You walked over to where he was standing to get a good view of what he was looking at and when you traces his gaze, you had to dig you heel back into your foot to avoid shouting profanity so loud the entire street would hear.

It was an old photo, you were nine at the time when your family decided to visit the beach for the first time ever. The photo always made you feel extremely uncomfortable when you saw your shirtless child torso. It made you feel dysphoric and sick when you looked at yourself. The only reason you ever kept it was because it was the only photos you had of your mother, even if the photo was taken not to long before she passed making the feelings you got from it even worse.   
That photo was pure evidence of the information you’ve been withholding from Chrom and there he was, staring at it. Even he could connect the dots at this point, unless he was the type to deny the truth or a complete idiot. 

“Robin, is there something you’re not telling me? Or better put, you haven’t told me”

You throat becomes very dry and it hurts to swallow. You feel like your sinking and you wish you would. If you could just sink into the depths of the earth that would be perfect. You wish you could run away and run as far from you could. You couldn’t gather up the right words and instead you just looked away. 

You could hear the rustling of Chroms clothes and you could feel his hard gaze upon you. “Robin, please, will you look at me.” you can't move, you feel paralyzed from you face down to your toes “If you think I’m upset or angry, I’m not. I’m little surprised you didn’t tell me though.”

“I….I haven’t told anyone. Nobody knows besides my folks of course.”

“….I don’t think any less of you, this doesn't change how I feel about you.”

You hear the fall of foot steps coming up to you. You can feel Chroms breath graze you slightly. It not an angry or upset breathing; it’s flustered, almost nervous. 

“And I still like you a lot, Robin.” he very roughly grabs one of your clenched hands. “Robin, please, will you look up at me?”

It takes a little strength, but you manage to avert you gaze up to meet Chroms. He’s cheeks are red and his expression is nervous and a bit timid. But he doesn’t look sad or angry or disgusted. He looks like he always does; soft and accepting. 

“I’m sorry if I made you feel anything awful or agonizing, and I’m sorry I put you on the spot here.”

You make a mumbling sort of noise but no real words actually come out. You break eye contact with Chrom and opened the clenched fist to allow Chroms hand to weave itself into yours. You hear him chuckle a little bit. “But I’m really happy we’re on the same page.”

“Yeah….um if it’s alright, can we keep this between us? I’m not really ready to be out in the open about this…”

“Yeah, I won’t tell anyone.”

“Not even Lissa?” 

“Not even Lissa.”


End file.
